Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to use sarcasm. By the way, I'll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter. With that said, welcome to my lair.
"You must not blame me if I do talk to the clouds."
Henry David Thoreau
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Monday, August 18, 2014

Start thanking Anwar, Malaysians, he is your saviour

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Here's my thank you note, Datuk Seri
It is my opinion that the politicians in Selangor have lost sight on the true meaning of the word 'rakyat'.

If anything it has become an excuse to justify each orchestrated political move, no matter how ludicrous it may sound to a person who still subscribes to logic and common sense.

While I believe the 'rakyat' was never in Opposition leader Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim's mind when his family formed Parti Keadilan Rakyat back in 1998, I'm sure many would argue with me, saying that it was the best thing that could happen to the Malaysian political landscape.

I can accept those arguments and respectfully agree to disagree, but I cannot fathom the veils still covering the eyes of the people supporting Anwar after he announced the Kajang Move.

How is it that the Kajang Move can be justified as 'for the rakyat'?

Especially since everything related to Pakatan Rakyat in Selangor just began going downhill from that point on.

Where is the rakyat supposed to fit in this mess, apart from being used as an excuse in the press statements issued by PR lawmakers in support of Anwar and his political maneuvring?

It pains me that staunch supporters of Anwar still see him as the answer to our political woes.

For the record, I can understand if a person refuses to support Barisan Nasional (BN), but it borders on the illogical to expect PR to be the better alternative.

If it wasn't clear to some that the rakyat is the farthest thing on Anwar's mind before this, it should already be the minute he choose to announce his wife's candidacy for Selangor's next Menteri Besar on the very same night Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Razak addressed the nation with regards to the Malaysia Airlines (MAS) Flight MH17 tragedy.

Najib had a live telecast at midnight on July 22 and some half an hour later, Anwar who had concluded a meeting at the PKR headquarters in Tropicana decided to hold a press conference to announce that Wan Azizah is the preferred choice to replace current MB Tan Sri Abdul Khalid Ibrahim.

At a time when Malaysia is reeling from two massive aviation disasters, Anwar felt it was in the best interest of the rakyat to announce that he wants his wife to take over as Selangor MB?

Is Abdul Khalid really that terrible of a Menteri Besar that Anwar couldn't wait?

Perhaps let the dust of the MH17 tragedy somewhat settle first? Or wait until the Selangor state assembly reconvenes later in the year? Or wait until the next General Election, since Abdul Khalid had already made it clear before this that this was going to be his last term as MB?

But then again, when Anwar wants something, Anwar goes out and gets it. Oh but wait, despite countless dates given, he is still nowhere near the office on Level 5 of the Perdana Putra complex in Putrajaya, which we all know is his ultimate goal.

What is the next best thing? Appointing his wife as MB to Malaysia's richest state it seems.

The point I'm trying to make is that PR in Selangor should just leave the rakyat out of this mess and carry on as they please because they will do whatever they want anyway.

PAS tried to back Abdul Khalid but somehow, somewhere along the way, they caved in to the coalition's backing of Anwar's proposal.

While they clearly showed resistance to Wan Azizah being appointed MB, yesterday they 'unanimously' agreed.

Pakatan Rakyat gets what Pakatan Rakyat wants.

Again I ask, where does the rakyat fit in all these? The rakyat will have to go to the polls should a statewide election be called if Abdul Khalid decides to dissolve the state assembly and not make it easy for Anwar to place his wife in the state's top administrative post.

The rakyat which these politicians 'care' so much for will have to hit the polls once again despite having done just that slightly more than a year ago. And for what? I don't think I have to mention it again.

While it may be clear as day to me, it is still a blur to many. Particularly with one DAP lawmaker who blogs under the pseudonym SakmongkolAK47 saying today that the nation should be thankful to Anwar for providing the rakyat an alternative to BN.

"Malaysians owe him an eternal debt of gratitude for forging a common platform," DAP lawmaker Datuk Ariff Sabri Abdul Aziz said in his blog today.

I know it is only Monday but I can safely say Encik Sakmongkol is already the winner of the moron of the week award.

So it is with dripping sarcasm that I urge my fellow Malaysians to start sending thank you notes to Anwar.

He is your saviour, isn't he?

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Here's looking at you kid...

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If anything, I had always felt that I was born in the wrong decade. The 80s was not entirely a right fit for me, particularly because I always felt more at home with the music, movies, fashion and pace of the 40s and 50s. And to a certain extent the early 60s.

Bogey and Bacall were a point of reference of sorts, apart from Sinatra, the Rat Pack and Brando.

It was a great sense of the old and classy that made me feel more at home than the hurried and gaudy feel of the 80s and later the 90s.

I felt more at ease watching Ingrid's fashion sense and felt more connected to Bogey's flirtatious gaze than anything that 80s Hollywood spewed.

While there were still certain things from the 80s and 90s that I could relate to, for the most part, I just felt more at home with Rick's Cafe and the sounds of the crooners.

Even in my relationship I guess eventually my love for the 40s and 50s somehow guided me into the arms of my old school lover.

Someone older and equally as connected to the days gone by compared to the fast-paced world of today.

Like the Bertie Higgins song, I found the hero to my leading lady.

We have our own late, late show and in each other's arms, we sail away to Key Largo.

Hearing that Lauren Bacall had passed on moved me to pen some words down.

I feel sad that one by one of the old greats have left us.

What Hollywood is producing today does not even come close to what these legends gave us.

So here's looking at you kid and missing all the things you did. 

All of you will continue to live on in the hearts and minds of those who still linger on in the good old days despite it already being 2014.

Like Higgins said, "We can find it once again, I know, Just like they did in Key Largo."

Keep playing it Sam, play it over and over again. Cause I love you still and baby, this can't be the end.

To Lauren, say hi to Bogey for me.... have fun in 'Key Largo'.....

Saturday, June 21, 2014

An open letter to 'retis sakai'

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This is an open letter to 'retis sakai'.

Please note that the term 'retis' is used to refer to celebrities, public figures in the entertainment industry who have yet to exhibit an ounce of common sense ever since they rose to 'stardom'.

However, there are times when simply referring to these people as 'retis' do not suffice.

In this letter, the people I am talking about warrant the use of another word to support 'retis', hence 'retis sakai'.

You get my drift.

If you are a celebrity/public figure in the entertainment industry who are well-behaved, exhibit clarity of thought and generally don't behave like a donkey's rear end, do not take offense with this open letter.

Clearly you are not a 'retis' but an artiste.

So do not feel the need to come up with statements like 'tak suka bila orang guna perkataan retis' etc.

If you do, you would have succesfully demoted yourself from artiste to 'retis'.

If you're an artiste, do us all a favour and stay that way because you would probably have realised by now that your kind is a dying breed.

Think, before you tweet.

Moving on to the open letter, it would appear that such a letter has become necessary as I believe we are under attack.

With the barrage of Zombie-related movies, many believe that a Zombie apocalypse may be looming, with some having prepared bunkers and emergency packs, ready to ward off any attempts to eat their brains out.

However, what we have failed to realise is that while the world is getting us all fixated on Zombies and vampires and werewolves, the truth is that another species is actually building up their army right under our noses.

While this letter may be pointless as most of these species do not understand proper English, although they can fool you into thinking that they do as they constantly attempt to update their life progress using the English language.

The sad truth however is that you're ruin my life! Do you see that? You are ruin my life once again! Fix it. Now!

Sorry I veered off the path I'm supposed to be on, but I'm back on track now.

What was I saying?

Aah yes, the open letter. You are ruin my life you moron!

Sorry, sorry, I do that sometimes, it's what some may call a split personality. Kinda like putting on a sexy outfit, strutting your stuff in a Malaysian-type public, and then go all wide-eyed and blur when people criticise your choice of clothing.

That kind of split personality.

Not the kind that requires you to see a shrink and be on actual medication. 

Because the medical kind deserves respect, understanding and delicacy.

The kind I was telling you requires a knock on the head. With a mallet.

Anyway, getting back on track, I decided to type out this letter because these species, of which from this point on shall be referred to as 'retis sakai', may have escaped my blogging radar for quite some time, but I've always been watching.

I rant and bitch about them on my Facebook and Twitter but I think the time has come for me to 'upgrade' them to my blog.

Note that my blog has been dormant for quite some time now. 

They should feel honoured that I decided to 'break my silence' by writing about them, actually, writing to them.

Dear 'retis sakai',

I am in the media line. At the heart of it, I am a journalist and will always be a journalist.

Which means, I get upset when 'retis sakai' hit out at journalists for doing what they have to do.

While some journalists may be assholes, that is the case for any profession, there will always be assholes (much like the entertainment industry), more often than not, in my opinion, the fault lies with the 'retis sakai' and not the journalists.

This particular point will be further elaborated upon later in this letter.

Before I get into it, I shall establish first that you are a public figure (for reasons I don't think I will ever understand) which qualifies you to be called 'retis sakai'.

Therefore, whatever points I raise is based on the fact that you are a public figure, meaning you are somewhat known to the public.

Maybe not everyone, but I'm guessing as long as you have more than 5,000 Twitter followers and get invited to celebrity-type events and ocassionally (or way too much) appear on television in some God-awful drama or telemovie, or you are a permanent statue in David Teo or Yusof Haslam's flicks, then you qualify as a known person.

Or if you are a singer, sorry, if you claim to be a singer, then probably you would have appeared in some self-uploaded YouTube video, or some Program Raya and most definitely Melodi.

Anyway, you get my drift. If you're unknown, this letter would not see the light of day.

So, here goes...

As 'retis sakai' you would definitely be familiar with these terms; Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Keek (thank God that died but Instagram included video uploads so boo).

The number one rule of being 'retis sakai' post-2005 is the need to have all three accounts.

Still okay, because artistes are on social networks too. So are welders, engineers, doctors, journalists, etc.

However, you, 'retis sakai', must be 'ahead' of the rest. You strive to get more followers because to you, the more followers you have, the more accomplished you feel, perhaps. Particularly since you know that you have no placing in the hearts of urban liberals who more often than not, don't even know who you are if you walked up to them and slapped them in their faces.

There are a few names I have in mind, but some time back when I wrote an article condemning Wardina Safiyyah, she wrote an e-mail to the publication where my article appeared, and complained that I should not have 'petik' her name.

After that incident, I felt like I should not 'petik' names and instead just go with 'retis sakai'.


Hanis Zalikha, Nabila Huda, Wardina Safiyyah, Nora Danish, Zarina Anjoulie, Sharifah Sakinah, Emma Maembong, Wardina Safiyyah, Abby Abadi, Wardina Safiyyah and Wardina Safiyyah.

There I said it. Although the one name mentioned four times has actually made her exit from two out of three mentioned social networks, it does not mean her previous cock-ups will easily be forgotten.

Getting back to my point, while you have this power at your fingertips, where thousands of people follow you (either to laugh at you or to worship you, it doesn't matter as long as the numbers keep going up), you feel the need to share your entire life with them.

Remember artistes from those days? They had no social networks. Which was why for the most part, people notice their talent first. Other than that, it is up to the media to make or break them.

But today, with social networks, 'retis sakai' have made it possible to break themselves.

So, my dear 'retis sakai', when you share stuff on social networks, what is your objective? You want people to see what you're up to? Being human, and one that resides in Malaysia, and for the most part I can safely say that a majority of 'retis sakai' are Malays, can't you gauge how people would react?

Predominantly your followers are Malays residing in Malaysia.

Two things you clearly are yourself.

So why do things that is akin to 'digging your own grave'?

To this, many will say 'instagram aku, aku punya sukalah' or 'aku tak nak jadi hipokrit' or 'this is my life, take it or leave it' or 'i am just being true to myself' or 'kita nak hidup tak boleh ambil pusing sangat apa orang nak cakap' or 'mulut orang memang kita tak boleh tutup' and the list goes on and on.

By the way, is there a secret handbook you guys get before becoming a 'retis sakai'? I'm starting to believe there is, because your behaviour and actions and statements appear to come from a template.

Anyway, you are known. Your social network accounts are for public view. While I am sure you thrive on the endless 'cantiknya akak/abang' and 'lawanya' and 'saya nak jadi macam akak/abang' and 'akak/abang ni idola saya' etc, you must also remember that you can't control what people say.

After all, it is you who said 'mulut orang tak boleh nak tutup' kan?

So based on that, if you loathe criticism, why publicize your life?

What I can't stand the most is how you go all holy and innocent and start to generalize all those who criticize you as 'haters'.

No, wait, actually what I can't stand even more than that is the barrage of quote pics that you morons upload after a social network scandal takes place.

"Haters will be haters, you only say bad things about me because you're jealous of me, I am on top of the world, Allah is great, I love my life, I won't let haters take me down, People love to act holier-than-thou so just ignore them."

And of course, the list of quotes goes on and on and on.

And all this because?

You uploaded a picture of yourself wearing skimpy clothes.

Or you uploaded a picture of yourself vacationing with your boyfriend with captions like "kisses all over your face".

Halo samdol, you 'retis', ada followers, orang kenal, some more you open yourself wide by uploading these pictures yourself, what were you expecting?

If people don't comment at all, no compliments, no caci maki, then you would probably be crying in the shower because you're not famous and nobody cares about you anymore.

So what do you want now 'retis sakai'?

If Instagram had a feature to turn off comments, would you use it? Find a mirror, look into it and ask yourself that question. Would you be able to live without the compliments? Or better yet, would you be able to live without the hate comments because then you won't be able to go all holy and innocent when you respond to the hate comments.

You say you want to be close to your fans and share your lives with them, even worse, some say they use Instagram as a journal for their kids to look at someday.

Oh boy.

Ever heard of a photo album?! I think you can still get it at Aeon. 

No wait, ever heard of an external hard disk?!

Never mind.

Back to the issue at hand.

It's actually fine to use Instagram to share your lives with your fans, but not the way you morons are doing it.

What is even more terrible actually is that you hit out at journalists when they follow-up on the issues that you created on your social network accounts.

What do you say?

"Tolong lah leave us alone. Biar kami sort out masalah kami. Jangan tanya lagi. Cukup-cukuplah media memanipulasikan apa yang berlaku."

Hatok hang.

For the most part, you create the mess and then you jump when people hound you to find out what's going on.

Here's a tip, if you want to be left alone, if you don't want people prying into your life, if you don't want people to know what you're up to, fucking don't upload a photo every half an hour.

And to the 'retis sakai' yang suka main upload gambar seksi, gambar dengan boyfriend, gambar clubbing, gambar holiday, terima sahaja lah bila kena hentam.

Why melompat? You started it, right? And what gives you the right to play the holy card when you so conveniently brand those who criticise you as holier-than-thou people?

I also find that some of you resort to dismissing criticism not just by using the term 'haters' but also 'trolls'.

"Oh baru create account nak troll. Patutlah."

Err.... how about responding to actual criticism? Those who make sense? Tak berani kan? Why only choose to respond to 'trolls' or those who use foul language?

Meanwhile, you don't realise that while you're off doing stupid, moronic things, there are so many of your fans who strongly defend you.

Do you know that you're spreading stupidity?

As though we don't have enough stupids in the world as it is, when you do crappy stuff on the internet, and people hit out at you, your hardcore fans start defending you as if their lives depended upon it.

That is allowing stupidity to grow and breed.

Oh the horror.

While you may have worked hard to save up for your lousy vacation, why not let reporters do their jobs? Send some normal photos to them and give them an interview and they'd be happy to put it in the papers or their websites.

That way, you won't run the risk of hitting out at reporters for doing their jobs when shit hits the fan because you want to handle your own life updates on social networks.

The mere fact that you are 'retis sakai' shows that you have no sense of how things work. So leave it to the pro.

You may be stupid, I know that, but even stupid people sometimes have the common sense to leave certain things to professionals.

So now that you have effectively earned your spot as 'retis sakai', perhaps you could start reflecting and maybe, just maybe one day, you will find yourself among artistes.

Just maybe.

Oh what am I saying.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Stop the blame game

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IN the aftermath of the arab spring, Malaysians got up and said, 'Hey we have to fight too.' 

And so they did. 

However, the problem with us is that we want to fight but lack the capacity to be intellectual about the arguments we put forth and the battles we choose to pick. 

For the most part, we have always been surface dwellers, and we continue to be so, without bothering to exercise common sense and logic. 

In saying surface-dwellers, it simply means that, generally, we focus more on the surface, without looking into what's underneath.

In even simpler terms, we are not that far different from the boy who cried wolf.

We fight for racial equality and denounce those who we think are racists. 

But how do we do it? 

We become judgmental and brand the racists. 

We insist on being liberal and tolerant but we do that by putting down those who hold on to a certain set of beliefs. 

We say we want more freedom, we want justice, equality, and insist on being liberals.

However, we immediately put down others who do not share our liberal ideals. 

We bash the non-governmental organisation (NGO) Perkasa for being extremely pro-Malays, but we ourselves become extremely pro-liberals, and we trample on those who don't share our views. 

We scream for democracy.

Yet we misinterpret the word. 

Democracy has never meant everyone getting their way. 

That's just plain insanity. 

In our fight to free ourselves from the alleged grasp of bad governance, we insult the freedom fighters before us. 

What we as Malaysians fail to understand, in my opinion, is that the government, whichever party gets to run it, is a mere reflection of us as a whole.

Of late, most of us have been screaming to the government asking them to listen to us, but we refuse to first listen to ourselves.

The government, whoever runs it, was once part of the masses. 

They too were once nobodies.

In fact, we were all born as nobodies.

We are so eager to blame the government for everything that is wrong within our society that we forget, that government we hate came from within us.

If we as a society refuse to change, it doesn't matter who sits in the chair at Level 5 of the Prime Minister's office in Putrajaya.

If we as a society insist on staying the way we are and simply resort to the blame game, it won't matter which party wins the next general election because we will still be a nation that continues to bark at the tree.

Sometimes I wonder why we fail to see that there is an inter-connectedness to everything around us?

We take for granted simple day-to-day things yet we loudly voice out the need to weed out the alleged corruption in our current government.

It all starts with the man (or woman) in the mirror.

Look around us; are we offering bribes to our kids just to get them to either shut up or do well in school?

Why can't we see that everything begins (and ends) with us?

Look at how we treat the foreign workers in our country.

We may not all engage in physical abuse, but we commit grave injustice when we so freely refer to them as though they are lesser human beings when we comment on the issue.

We so carelessly dismiss them as though we are the supreme race, devoid of flaws and mistakes.

And yet, we can easily point fingers and accuse others of being racist.

What is the difference between us and those we blame?

In our fight to be a more tolerant and just nation, we do it by becoming intolerant and unjust ourselves.

We dismiss things we don't understand, and we offhandedly pass remarks about the beliefs of others without bothering to understand the essence of the issue.

For 2014, I just pray that we are granted more common sense and logic.

At the rate we are going, it is not the current government that will run us down, but rather our own stupidity, arrogance and selfishness.

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Perverts In a Circus....

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Once in a while, we may chance upon a workplace that leaves a lasting impression on our souls.

A place that is more than just an office we drive to every morning.

A place that is more than just a desk, a chair and a computer that we use to complete what is needed of our jobs.

A place that is more than just four walls of salary giving space.

A place that when we leave, we leave a part of us there.

A place that gave us memories to last a lifetime.

A place where the memories are not work-related, but life experiences that make us who we are.

A place we make friends for life. And not just weekdays 9 to 5 ones.

I chanced upon such a place recently. I spent a whole year there. Just a year some may say. Not even enough to create anything worthwhile. Au contraire folks. Au contraire.

Work-wise, it was a stepping stone of sorts, albeit there were ups and downs.

But more importantly, it was the non-related work stuff that stuck to me with memories that will live on long after i stepped out for good.

Career-wise, i'm in a better place now. A place I never thought I would be at, but opportunity came knocking, I grabbed it and I couldn't be happier.

But speaking of the past one year, it has been one interesting and crazy journey.

I made friends who I believe will stay on in my heart forever.

Beautiful people with beautiful hearts.

The first time I set foot into that place, I felt a sense of foreboding.

Is this really where I wanted to be? Will these people accept my eccentricities?

The first couple of weeks I kept mostly to myself, joining in a little joke here and there, trying to blend in.

After a few weeks, somehow, everything just fell into place. Suddenly we were bonding and I felt at home.

Lunches, tea breaks were spent with them, laughing, exchanging life stories.

And then something unexpected happened. Perhaps it was 'rezeki kerja tempat baru' or perhaps it was just already written to happen that way.

My long-time boyfriend of 5 years proposed and an engagement date was set.

And then the wedding preparations began. Of course, these beautiful people were there for most of the psychotic rantings, temper tantrums, card designing, clothes picking, souvenir selections, bla bla bla.

In fact, one of them even hooked me up with her tailor.

And they were all in favour of the mafia wedding theme, especially this one dude who sat next to me.

The wedding came, and most of them were there, decked out like mafias, happily snapping away photos to record the memorable day.

These people were like family to me.

From one guy who loves P.Ramlee to another one who continuously blasts rock kapak songs on his computer, to one who became my IT run-to guy, to a woman who was ever-willing to hear me rant whatever the rants are about, to a guy I run to whenever I hit a snag with my writing, to one who is always ready for a karaoke-night out, to one who insists on calling me Puan the minute I tied the knot, to one who was always ready with pervert jokes, to one dude who constantly insists he is able to discuss Victoria's Secret's lingerie line, and to a HR manager who was more like a big sister than anything else.

More than that, they were just beautiful people I can't picture my life without.

How do I repay their kindness in offering me their friendships?

I honestly don't even know where to begin but I thought a blog post, after a long hiatus, will be a good start.

I love you guys. Now and forever. We've been called a circus, but we know that this was one cool circus!

Long live budak-budak senget!

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

An apology...

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Some time ago, I used my blogspace to vent against a certain individual whom I felt had wronged me. Perhaps it was my hotheadedness that drove me to make harsh remarks against said individual, perhaps it was just plain and simple anger. But whatever it was, it has been brought to my attention that I should not have used a media platform to lash out in a harsh manner to this particular someone, especially since this someone is a dear friend to the man I now call my husband. Therefore I would hereby like to offer my apology to her and hope that all can be forgiven.

posted from Bloggeroid

Monday, July 30, 2012

It is not nice to cheat your fans....

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Good sense would dictate that if you’re a public figure, and you have a Twitter account, and you have tonnes of followers, you should tweet responsibly. I’ve spoken about this issue countless of times, however today, I would like to do something a little different. When I say tweet responsibly, that generally means having a good twitter etiquette because if you’re famous, that means you are being idolized by many (although in some cases, I honestly don’t know why they are idolized. But anyway.) When so many look up to you, remember that it is only appropriate that you be honest in your tweets. Assuming you came up with a brilliant quote, and you share it on twitter, and this quote is originally yours (which means if I copy paste it into Google search, it won’t appear anywhere else on the net) then it’s okay to do so without putting the open-close inverted commas. See example below.
This is an original quote - it does not require open-close inverted commas.

See now I came up with that line. It belongs to my head. And even if you google it, you won’t find it anywhere else. So that means it’s mine.

What I want to say here is that I find it appalling that some people would simply write down quotes on their Twitter account, without any open-close inverted commas to denote a quote-unquote situation, and of course there’s no credit as to the origin of the quote. Basically, konon2 quote tu hasil dari otak sendiri lah tu. And fans yang beribu ni pun RT lah. “I like your words.” “Your words are an inspiration.” “I like following your Twitter because you say good things.” Bla Bla Bla.

Saya sertakan beberapa contoh quotes that was taken and used without crediting its original source. Attached is also the origin of said quote.

Life is a Succession of Lessons which must be Lived to be Understood.
(belongs to Ralph Waldo Emerson)

Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.
(Proverb. The first person who uttered this line is not known, but this quote has been around for a long time, and did not come to be just recently.)

Never chase anyone. A person who appreciates You will walk with You.
(A search on Google attributes this quote to someone called Wiz Khalifa. And this line is plastered all across the internet, you can find it almost everywhere.)

Being Cool is, Not trying to be Cool.
(Again there is no trace as to the first person who uttered this quote but it is found everywhere on the internet that a person today just cannot expect to coin this phrase as their own.)

You Never really Understand a person until You consider things from his or hers point of view. 
(This is from the book To Kill A Mockingbird. The original line had no ‘or hers’. That part was added by whoever cedok this quote without bothering to credit Harper Lee.)

In order to succeed, Your desire for Success should be Greater than Your fear of failure.
(Bill Cosby)

I think you pretty much get the point I’m trying to make here. If you still can’t see it, here’s a breakdown to make it easier:

1.       Are you a public figure? If Yes, go to no. 2.
2.       Do you have a Twitter account? If Yes, go to no. 3.
3.       Do you have thousands of followers? If Yes, go to no. 4
4.       Do you have people who hang on to every twit you spew out? If Yes, go to no. 5
5.       Are you not able to come up with original tweets? If Yes, go to no. 6.
6.       Do you like to Google for quotes to copy paste on your Twitter account? If Yes, go to no. 7.
7.       If you answered yes to all of the above, might I suggest the next time you cedok something from the  internet, please use the format given below:

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Kempen Mari Berfikir Sebelum Mulakan Sesuatu Perjuangan

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Kehadapan Ektremis Bahasa Melayu,

Dewasa ini kelihatan ramai yang riuh memperjuangkan kemartabatan Bahasa Melayu. Bukan setakat rakyat biasa, malahan ahli fikir, ahli falsafah, dan juga akademia turut turun padang melaungkan kemarahan mereka, kerana menurut puak-puak ini, Bahasa Melayu semakin tidak dipedulikan. Apabila kita bertutur di dalam Bahasa Inggeris, dikatanya kita ini mengagung-agungkan bahasa dari barat. Pada pendapat saya, secara tidak langsung Dewan Bahasa dan Pustaka menyumbang terhadap kemunduran Bahasa Melayu. Mungkin puak pelampau Bahasa ini perlu mengarahkan kemarahan mereka terhadap DBP dan bukan pada kami yang terlebih rajin semasa di sekolah dan memberi perhatian di dalam kelas Bahasa Inggeris dan memilih untuk menggunakan Bahasa Inggeris lebih dari menggunakan Bahasa Melayu. Pada pandangan saya, memperjuangkan keagungan Bahasa Melayu tiada salahnya, tetapi jangan terlalu melampau sehingga menolak kemajuan bahasa lain. Mengapa saya katakan DBP menyumbang dengan cara tidak langsung terhadap kemunduran Bahasa Melayu? Sebabnya diberikan dibawah:

Technology – Teknologi  
Information – Informasi
Release – Rilis
Bearish – Bearis
Review – Rebiu
Linguistic – Linguistik
Plastic – Plastik
Antique – Antik
Discrimination – Diskriminasi
Denomination – Denominasi
Monarchy – Monarki
Anarchy – Anarki
Anthropology – Antropologi
Social – Sosial
Punitive – Punitif
Discipline – Disiplin

I think you get the idea. This list could go on forever.

Jadi seharusnya anda minta DBP terangkan apa sebabnya kebanyakan perkataan Bahasa Melayu hanya diolah sedikit dari perkataan Bahasa Inggeris? Mengapa tidak dicari perkataan lain? Sebagai contoh, Information juga membawa maksud Maklumat. Jadi kenapa kita tidak memperluaskan penggunaan Maklumat? Mengapa radio/tv/suratkhabar masih menggunakan Informasi? Release juga bermaksud Mengeluarkan. Kenapa dijadikan Rilis? Banyak lagi contoh-contoh seumpama ini. Sekiranya begini evolusi Bahasa Melayu pada abad ini, mungkin 20-30 tahun akan datang, semua perkataan Bahasa Melayu yang digunapakai hanya dipindah dari Bahasa Inggeris dengan menggantikan –TION kepada –SI, -SH kepada –S, dan sebagainya. Kalau begitu, buat apa kita perkasakan Bahasa Melayu jika kosakatanya penuh dengan perkataan-perkataan Bahasa Inggeris yang sekadar dipindah dan ditukar serba sedikit? Baik terus belajar Bahasa Inggeris sahaja, bukan begitu logiknya?

Mengkelaskan perkataan-perkataan ini di dalam kategori Perkataan Pinjaman Inggeris tidak menjadikannya satu alasan yang munasabah ya, tuan-tuan dan puan-puan.

Apakah yang dilakukan oleh mereka di DBP? Jika setakat menukar perkataan-perkataan sebegini rupa, mungkin DBP tidak memerlukan bangunan sebesar itu. Mungkin saya tidak arif dengan tugas-tugas lain di DBP. Tetapi jika perkara nyata seperti ini tidak dipedulikan, apa guna saya ambil tahu apa yang berlaku di dalam bangunan DBP itu? Sesungguhnya setiap hari kita berhadapan dengan perkataan-perkataan Bahasa Melayu yang diubahsuai sedikit dari Bahasa Inggeris. Oleh sebab itu, saya tidak nampak dimana perlunya untuk berjuang memartabatkan Bahasa Melayu. Terutama lagi bahasa itu merupakan alat perhubungan. Selagi apa yang dipertuturkan difahami oleh pendengar, apa perlu dimartabatkan sesuatu bahasa itu? Sekiranya bahasa itu benar-benar istimewa dan mempunyai keunikan tersendiri, ya saya akur ia perlu diperkasakan supaya tidak hilang ditelan zaman. Tetapi jika bahasa itu sekadar pindahmilik dari bahasa lain, buang masa saja perjuangan yang nyata tidak berfaedah itu. Dari membuang masa memperjuangkan perkara yang tidak perlu diperjuangkan, lebih baik masuk kelas Bahasa Inggeris. Setidak-tidaknya dapat juga bertutur di merata tempat seluruh dunia. Kalau setakat gagah perkasa dalam satu bahasa sahaja, maka gagah perkasa lah di kampung halaman sendiri. 

Kepada penyokong tegar Bahasa Melayu, sila elakkan dari menghantar pandangan anda yang menggunakan alasan bahawa perkataan Bahasa Inggeris juga meminjam banyak dari bahasa-bahasa lain. Itu saya tahu. Apa yang ingin saya sampaikan di sini ialah, jika anda berpuas hati dengan kerja-kerja yang dijalankan oleh DBP selama ini yakni teknologi informasi diskriminasi dan segala apa yang basi lagi, maka hentikan perjuangan memartabatkan Bahasa Melayu dan mengutuk orang yang bertutur di dalam Bahasa Inggeris. Terima dengan rela hati dan duduk diam-diam. Jika anda ingin juga berjuang, maka nasihat saya, betulkan dahulu adaptasi berleluasa yang dijalankan oleh DBP ini. Selepas anda dapatkan perkataan-perkataan asli untuk perkataan-perkataan –SI dan yang sewaktu dengannya yang saya maksudkan, barulah berjuang untuk memartabatkan bahasa yang sangat anda cintai itu.

Bahasa Hanya Alat Komunikasi.

Embrace that and you’ll have one less nonsense to demo about.

In the spirit of the signage above, you only live once, don't spend it demonstrating over nonsense.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Common Sense is Still Uncommon....

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First of all, allow me to apologize to those who have been dropping by my blog looking for new articles. I haven’t been able to update regularly due to work (actually malas pun ya jugak). But I do appreciate your interest in my opinions, so allow me to dedicate this post to all my loyal fans (I know tak ramai mana, tapi saja nak feeling #retis kejap). Things have been rather busy for me of late, new job, new friends, and for the most part, entertaining my pemalas side. My thoughts are still aplenty but thanks to Twitter, they have not gone unspoken. To those of you who follow my Twitter account, you will know that I still have strong opinions on a lot of issues and pretty much none of it just dies in my head. So for this posting, I shall divide it into a summary of the most pertinent issues that have been bugging me these past few months. Kiranya macam rumusan dalam paper Bahasa Melayu SPM lah. Seperti biasa, persoalan dan isu yang masih hangat diperkatakan sekarang, tidak lain tidak bukan, berkenaan institusi diRaja di negara kita.

Ever since the mess created by the presence of a certain royal figure on Twitter (of which my blog became goreng pisang panas for a week or two), the royalty issue in Malaysia has escalated pretty significantly. Dah bermacam-macam cerita yang kurang enak kita dengar, baik di Twitter ataupun suratkhabar juga blog dan online forums. Pukul orang, kena tahan polis, buat laporan polis tentang akaun Twitter palsu, bagi statement tanpa asas di Twitter, pembidaan nombor plat, bergaduh, dan macam-macam lagi. I have been advised by many not to write about this anymore. Infact some people are even questioning whether or not I have some sort of immunity. Perhaps I am of royal blood myself, or that my parents are prominent public figures, etc etc. Allow me to clarify here once and for all, I do not have mafia protection, not connected to any mob families, have no idea who to contact in the Yakuza, no links to any underground kongsi gelap associations and have no ties with Pekida, Pekuda, Pekada or whatever other organizations. I am a member of the Michael Jackson Fan Club though. That’s about it. I am an ordinary working Jane, who is either in possession of balls of steel or an idealistic fool who is completely oblivious to how the world really works. Either way, what I know is that I am someone who can’t stand nonsense. When I see nonsense, my brain works in overdrive and sends a barrage of signals to my mouth (or my fingers) to spew out something in retaliation. 

So it appears that my plea has gone unheeded. I was hoping that this certain someone would at least shut down his twitter account until he gets his head straight and is able to communicate in a way befitting the status he is so proud of. Unfortunately, that hasn’t happened. I believe he is still churning out nonsensical statements and it appears that there is just no stopping him. All I have to say at this point is to each his own. I have tried to do what little part I can in trying to impart some advice to him. However all these drama has made me realize one thing. That it is difficult to educate those who do not want to be educated. The next best thing I realized is to educate the masses instead. After all, when it comes to public figures, no matter how they may argue that it is their God-given right to be there, without the masses supporting them, they will then be relegated to nothing. I know ardent supporters of these people will easily take my points out of context. Let me clarify here that it is not my intention to question God’s work. Yes God has written our fate and it happens the way He so pleases. True. But God has also given us brains to think. If public figures argue saying that it is their God-given right to be where they are today hence exempting them from having to adhere to proper human behavior, then might I point out that the same argument can be used for criminals. Take this as an example: Sameon used to be a thief and he is now living a life of luxury with the things and money he stole. He travels all over the world, buys whatever he wants and lives in a big mansion. Can we then say “Itu rezeki dia. Allah dah takdirkan macam tu”? Can we say that and not do everything in our power to apprehend Sameon and make him pay for his crimes? No we don’t say that. Our police force will go all out to catch Sameon and put him behind bars. So the point here is that, if there is injustice, we can’t simply sit back and use the reasoning that he was born to be in that position and it is his God-given right to do as he pleases. Even the person himself should not fall back on that reasoning. Royal families are not above everyone else. God did not make them extra special. They are human beings, just like the rest of us. Di sisi Allah, hanya iman dan takwa yang membezakan manusia. Not one’s title, wealth, nor position. So by that simple logic, it is apparent that we the public are guilty of revering these people so much to a point that they feel exalted and above everyone else. Without our support, they are nothing. That is something they fail to realize. Kenapa? Sebab dari dulu lagi, kita yang kononnya pacal yang hina ni dah terlalu taksub mengagung-agungkan public figures. I am not saying that we shouldn’t respect them. In fact I have no problems in respecting them and acknowledging that they are an important part of my country. But as of late, they are not doing much to earn that respect anymore. What I am trying to do here is to make the masses see that it is up to us to demand good behavior from them. What I’m saying is that if we stop kissing-asses so much, then maybe they’ll change. Part of me sees that they shouldn’t be blamed entirely. Sebab macam mana manusia tu nak berubah sekiranya ramai yang memilih untuk menutup mata dan memuji membuta tuli? Of course mereka akan rasa seronok dan bangga bila ramai yang memuji. That’s just human nature. 

So I have now stopped hoping for them to change out of their own accord. Clearly some of them are unable to accept the fact that they’re misbehaving. And we the public are making it even harder for them to realize when we keep complimenting them left and right. Sikit-sikit puji. Sampai nak muntah baca some tweets from the public to some public figures. Please my fellow Malaysians, obviously those people lack brain cells, so janganlah korang pun sama jugak jadi bodoh. Stop sending complimentary tweets just to feel good when he/she responds and say thank you to you. Tak boleh bawak ke mana pun balasan tweet dari diaorang tu. Nak print screen buat frame gantung kat rumah ka?? Tak pun nak laminate bawak dalam wallet? Lepas tu tunjuk kat semua orang, “Eh tengok ni, so and so ni reply tweet aku.” Korang sedar tak betapa bodohnya korang bila berbangga dengan sesuatu perkara yang nyata bodoh? Walau Barack Obama sekalipun yang reply tweet korang, tak boleh bawak ke mana. Apatah lagi yang kat Malaysia ni. Kalau orang sombong refuse to accept advice and masih nak teruskan perangai bongkak dan sombong, janganlah kita ni menyemarakkan lagi api kesombongannya. Dia rugi, kita pun rugi. Nobody wins. What I’m trying to say here is that please be smart in whatever we do. The worse is when you people hantar tweet and say “Today is my birthday, please wish me happy birthday!” Do you realize how desperate that makes you sound? Kalau public figure tu respond and wishes you a happy birthday, adakah korang rasa bangga nak jaja story dia wish korang tu sedangkan dia wish sebab korang mintak. Di manakah maruah anda semua? I know it’s easy to lose yourself on twitter. That is what I’m trying to advocate here people. Common sense and a sense of decency to uphold your integrity. Kalau zaman dulu senang nak detect orang yang tak bermaruah. Tapi zaman sekarang ni, lebih senang nak hilang maruah tanpa kita sedar. If you ask me, tweet-tweet bodoh macam tu pun dah qualify as menjatuhkan maruah diri sendiri. Tak payahlah nak kutuk perempuan yang tak pakai tudung atau pakai baju seksi. Walaupun salah, tapi apa yang korang buat tu pun, sama ja. Pot calling the kettle black. I really don’t understand what pleasure you derive from getting these public figures to respond to your kiss-ass compliments and idiotic requests. “Can I have your baju?” “Can you attend my sister’s wedding?” Can you this, can you that. Tolonglah wahai bangsaku, please don’t make a fool out of yourselves. 

We as the public yang konon hina sangat ni, we make them that way. By that logic, yes I would agree that we are hina. Because we fuel their nonsense and make them feel okay to behave that way. Without remorse. Like everything they do is the absolute truth. They are human beings. Tak lari dari buat silap. Lagi kita memuji, lagi mereka berbangga diri. Lagi lah keluar statement-statement arrogant. Yes we know you’re rich, we know you’re way up there, so why don’t you just keep that to yourself and go about your life normally? There is absolutely no need to reiterate that fact on your twitter accounts or during interviews with reporters. 

I found it intensely disturbing that people would go so far as to say that jangan bila susah baru nak cari Raja (or words to that effect). Negara-negara beraja are not in any way above negara-negara lain yang tidak beraja. What about Muslims living in the United States, what about Muslims living in Singapore? Are they lesser than us yang ada Raja? No. Not in any way. No. Please people; get that through your heads, No. No. No. No. I can’t stress that enough. We are not in any way better off than them. Berpada-pada lah dalam mengeluarkan kenyataan. Like I’ve said in my previous posts, think before you say anything. Arrogance will not get you very far. Lama mana kita nak hidup atas pujian orang? Lama mana kita nak tolak semua kritikan?

Moving on to my next point, I noticed that some of our Malaysian artistes are still making asses out of themselves on social networks. From petty arguments, to squabbling with fans, to announcing every single detail of their lives, to God knows what else. Saya nak buat cadangan kepada saudara Zed Zaidi dan Persatuan Seniman, dari nak menyebokkan diri anda buat PC nak ‘selesaikan’ masalah budak-budak tak cukup akai bergaduh, apa kata buat kursus Cara Betul Penggunaan Laman Sosial Untuk Artis? A lot of PCs can be avoided if you take this suggestion. I honestly have no idea what is going through Zed’s head when he decided to take it upon himself (and the Persatuan) to meddle in some kids’ petty argument. And when the whole thing was over, he acted like he had just solved the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Masalah budak-budak ja bang oi, all you did was make the Persatuan look stupid. Find other issues la. I can name you quite a few isu yang lain yang lebih pressing and important for you to look into. Interested? Contact me. Sapa-sapa yang rajin, forward lah posting ni kat Zed Zaidi. Saya dah berkali-kali tweet dia dah, tak dilayan pun.

I think I have pretty much summed up what’s been brewing in my head of late. There’s more actually. But if I continue writing it now, lagi seminggu pun tak tentu siap. I’ll post my other thoughts some other time. Hope this is good enough for those of you who have patiently been waiting for something new from me. With all that said, here’s to common sense and making it common again.

P/S: Before you start commenting on my post, let me warn you first. Only argue with me if you FULLY understand what I have said. If you want to take things out of context, please go do it one someone else’s blog. I only accept intellectual arguments, based on points that are valid.