Monday, June 29, 2009

Life's Like That....

Lately I feel like I have no will to write anymore. This comes as quite a blow especially when I consider myself more of a writer than anything else. However it feels like the inspiration has left me and I am bogged down with the burden of not being able to express myself as fluidly as I used to. Life has been going at a rather simplistic pace as of late. Maybe it's the age thing. Perhaps I have mellowed down somewhat. It's just that lately I can't seem to bring myself to pen down anything much. Usually it's just the laziness but I don't think that is the case anymore. It's more like I've run out of things to write. Or maybe I'm just not bothered anymore. This is quite a scary thought. Even more so for a person who swears by ink and paper (or in this case, the keyboard and the computer). I don't even find myself reading as much as I used to. Theatre bores me to death these days. Musicals even more. I mean if you wanna sing, then have a concert for pete's sake! The days of enjoying musicals are officially over. Nowadays I find it supremely annoying when they break into a song in the middle of a conversation! I mean come on! Who does that?!?! I am becoming more sedate? The dawn of the age of hopelessness? I hope not! I used to find joy in watching plays, but today I feel suffocated. Gritting my teeth waiting for the whole thing to be over so I can go home and watch Friends or chow down on Mcdonalds. Could it be that plays are no longer what they used to be? What if Jit Murad puts up a play now, I go see it and I find myself bored to death by it?! Geez.....I shudder at the thought! I love Jit. I love his plays. But what's happening to me? I no longer find joy in the things I used to enjoy....writing, reading, theatre, musicals, clubbing, late nite outings, even shopping to a certain extent! Thank God I still enjoy Friends!

It could be the age thing. Perhaps the time has finally come for me to settle down. Hmm...if only it was up to the woman to decide on these matters....then I would be married by now. Going home to a husband after work. Enjoying the process of making babies. Having babies. Being a mom. Being a wife.

Damn! Is this still me talking? Have I been kidnapped by an alien and brainwashed to embrace the ideals of a family life?!


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