Sunday, September 11, 2011

When sleep eludes me....

Mark Twain once said, "Drag your thoughts away from your the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it." However I say, "Easier said than done!" 

 "People gather bundles of sticks to build bridges they never cross." -unknown

I believe I was born with an added dose of worry genes. Which explains why I am up at 3am blogging for strangers on the net to read. It's no secret at this point that I've got a shitload of crap on my about redundancy.......

"Lay your troubles on my shoulder, put your worries in my pocket,
rest your love on me awhile...."

My thoughts are mostly on the upcoming wedding. I pray to Allah that everything will go smoothly. I pray that it will all turn out as planned. We've both come very far since that fateful day 5 Ramadhans ago. I walked up the stairs to Wizardworks, and he opened the door. Of course at that point, neither of us could have guessed what life would have in store for us. It wasn't like I went to the studio to meet him. I didn't even know about him, much less to expect that I would meet the person I would soon fall in love with. And yet, life has a funny way of working itself out. From a shared ride to KLGCC for Tayangan Unggul's buka puasa, to late night coffees at the mamak, to dinners, to lunches, to movies, and eventually to each other's heart. Initially he was only supposed to be a rebound thing. At that time, I was still struggling to get over a previous relationship. The struggle was beginning to literally consume my sense of self. And then he came along. My light in the dark. 

I still remember the first day we met. I remember it like it just happened yesterday. After the buka puasa function at KLGCC, we headed to the Coffee Bean at Mont Kiara together with another mutual friend of ours. He told me he wrote songs. I asked, "Anything I've heard before?" He modestly answered, "I don't know if you've heard of Innuendo, but I co-wrote Selamanya." Have I heard of Innuendo?!?!? Have I heard of the best r&b group Malaysia has ever seen??!?! Have I?!?! Hell yeah! I did not really disguise my amazement, heck I wasn't even trying to. "You wrote Selamanya? Oh my God, that's like my favourite Innuendo song ever. I like it waaay more than Belaian Jiwa!" But even then, I didn't give him much thought at the start. I was pretty much preoccupied with the boyfriend I lost. I was afraid to even consider a new relationship. All I wanted was an avenue to forget. But somehow, life had other plans for me. He managed to open my heart. Somehow he managed to make me see that happiness did not desert me. And slowly, I fell for him. One day, I woke up and realized that the past was meant to stay where it belonged, in the past. I realized that it wasn't a rebound relationship that I wanted with him. As time went by, I realized that he was the one I had been looking for all this while. And here we are today. Still together, despite the bumps, despite the many twists and turns, we managed to stand strong.

That's not the only thing on my mind. My job hunt is also driving me nuts. Sometimes I feel like I have no idea what I want to do. Perhaps that is why I applied to do Law at UITM. Let's just say I'm going through a purpose-in-life crisis. Other than that, the foreigners in my building are driving me crazier by the minute. I don't care how you did things back in your country, but here, it is totally NOT acceptable for you to get drunk in your apartment and make a heck of a lotta noise at 3am. Perhaps the other neighbors are able to tolerate that, but not me. It just seems like they're suffering from a severe case of permanent jet-lag! I am also upset about the deteriorating state of the film industry. The stupidity of the opposition. The madness of Anwar Ibrahim, Karpal Singh, RPK etc. The whole debate about the Bukit Kepong tragedy. And the list goes on and on and on....
However, in the words of the very wise Charlie Brown, "I've developed a new philosophy....I only dread one day at a time." Words to live by, indeed.

So here's raising an imaginary glass to Snoopy's little buddy. 


  1. Sleep eludes me in Germany at the moment. Stumbled upon this post. Very nice read. Hope i might be able to sleep now.

    Blessings be upon you!

    1. Danke schoen! Thank you for reading. Hope sleep did not elude you for too long :-) Blessings be upon you too.